So I decided to visit my parents for Easter weekend. Saturday night, I went out with my friends from highschool and drank way too much. Sunday, I had to wake up and go to Easter church service with my family. My sister brought her 6 month old son, so when I felt the beer farts a-brewin', knew who I was going to blame.
I was surrounded by people, so I had unleash the fury with ease. I slowing leaned to one side and let out the longest fart of my life. But it was completely silent so I was in the clear. The woman beside me almost immediately perked up as if she had gotten a wiff of the devil himself. I told my sister that I thought the little guy had shat himself, so she grabbed his bag and started making her way down the pew. She was about half way down the pew and the little guy projectile vomited baby formula all over this old lady's lap and her bible. She let out a "WWOOOOOOPPPP" and dropped her bible on the floor, slamming it shut with the baby barf inside. This old hag then started screaming (while still in the middle of service) about how my nephew is the anti christ. Her husband was trying to calm her down because he clearly didn't believe that shit, he was just there insure his ticket to heaven once he kicked the bucket, but the old lady wasn't buying it and he had to take his wife out of the sanctuary to calm her down.
It looks like my parents are going to have to find a new church.
TL;DR: My beer farts caused the anti-christ to appear.
submitted by hopeistayhidden to tifu
[link] [93 comments]
from reddit: the front page of the internet http://ift.tt/1Db3OmD
0 commentaires:
Enregistrer un commentaire