TIFU by liking a religious girl

Here's some back story: I rarely talked to girls back in High School, so I made it an effort in college to try to talk to more girls. It's also worth noting that I'm not experienced with talking/dating to girls at all. Anyways, I found this really pretty girl in most of my major related classes and got the balls to sit next to her and start a conversation with her. Let's call this girl Hannah.

Now over the course of a couple of weeks, I got to know Hannah pretty well. We hung out more and she always sat next to me. I took this as a sign that she might be slightly into me. ^Sweet

Now, I knew that she was a Christian because of all her Facebook posts on her religious group, but I shrugged it off since she would never talk to me about religion when I'm with her. Which is pretty surprising since I'm in the South. (I'm not from the South and I'm not religious at all).

Anyways, just a couple of days ago, Hannah invited me over to her church's weekend retreat, conveniently leaving out all the details about learning about Jesus and stuff. Being the fucking tool that I am, I said yes because I honestly thought she asked me to go so that we can hang out. In fact, I probably would have said yes to anything she asked since I liked her so much.

That's where I seriously fucked up.

Fast forward to this Saturday and I'm at the church's retreat and we're in a middle of a sermon. The preacher takes the stage and talks about what it means to be a good Christian. ^Yaaay...

"An atheist told me that if there is a heaven and hell, then Christians must really hate people since they're not sharing their religion."

K.

"I wanna ask you Christians out here, have you made an effort to sit next to a stranger and get to know them?"

Uhh, what?

"Have you done your Christian duty and talk to people about your faith?"

shit.

"Have you done your Christian duty and invited your friends to be saved by Christ?"

Shit.

"I WANNA BE ABLE TO COME TO THIS ROOM AND SEE IT FILLED UP WITH PEOPLE WILLING TO CHANGE FOR JESUS!"

SHIT.

I looked over to Hannah and realized that she didn't invite me because she liked me. She invited me because it was her religious duty to invite me and save my god damn soul.

It gets fucking worse from here.

We had to take classes on purity and they kept emphasizing how masturbation is bad and how physical contact with the opposite gender is bad. Yeah, whatever, I've heard this before. No big deal. Then they bring up the term "Christian Side Hug" and that's when it fucking hits me. I realized that Hannah would always hug her guy friends from church, but I just realized that she would always hug them in a certain way. That's right. Fucking sideways. This girl is seriously devout. Now I realize that my chances of being in a relationship with this girl is out of the question.

Man, it can't get worse than this, right?

NOPE. We need to have quiet times with our fellow brothers and talk about our struggles with our faith. Since I didn't want to flat out tell the dudes that I didn't believe in Christ (and I was afraid to since I was in the South), I lied to them that I struggled with my connection with God.

This is where I fucked up, again.

The group of guys I talked to would not stop bothering me about doing a Bible study. They kept talking all night about the bible, and I barely got sleep because of them.

In conclusion:

• I thought this religious girl liked me, but ends up she was inviting me to all her religious events because it was her duty as a Christian.


• I lied to a bunch of Christian dudes that I was religious and now they won't stop pestering me about studying the bible with them.


• Everyone in that church thinks I'm a christian


• I wasted an entire weekend which I thought would be just me, Hannah, and her friends hanging out


• I stood there like a fucking jackass clapping to their songs.


• I got fucking religiously honey dicked potted. Hard.

TLDR - Thought a religious girl liked me, ends up she doesn't and just invited me because it was her Christian duty. Now I'm stuck in the religious zone with her and now all her friends are inviting me over for Bible studies. Someone fucking shoot me.

submitted by ReligiousHoneyDicked to tifu

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