Today I fucked up bros, I fucked up bad. My girlfriend and I have been together for six months. We're still going through the new-couple phase, which means the sex is great. We have sex like all the time. Every time we see each other we have sex. We had sex in movie theaters, yellow cabs, we even did it at the Macy's on 34th Street (NYC). The point is we love sexy-time. And most of the text messages we send each other are just plain filthy.
I sleep early because I have to wake in the morning to go to work. My girlfriend sleeps much later than I do. I told her I'm always waking up with boners so to help me masturbate she writes me really filthy messages when I'm sleeping. This way I can read them and "arrive" much faster while doing my morning ritual.
She went to visit her parents in Denver last week because her elderly father was hospitalized. He was battling lung cancer. Fast forward to last night. I've been feeling really bad because she was not being cheery self lately. Her sister told me she wasn't eating, and that she was crying all the time. So to cheer her up, I decided I was going to stay up and write her messages so she could read them when she wakes up and feel better. However, I had nothing to do while I was staying up so I decided to watch porn. Here's where the fuck up happens, bros. I became very, very aroused.I could not think straight. So at 1 am I began sending her very explicit messages about how badly I wanted to engage in intercourse. After my 7th messages, she called and told me to STOP. She told me her dad was using her cell phone to go on facebook so he could look at pictures of extended family members when my first message popped up on the screen. The message read, "I want to bang your Pu**y harder than a blind toddler bangs the wall when he first learns to walk." She told me she was now too embarrassed to go in front of her father.
He passed away around 8am this morning.
TlDr; told a dying Vietnam vet suffering from cancer that I was going to bang his oldest daughter's vagina like a blind toddler.
Note: For those saying it was my girlfriend's fault for not turning off the notifications, you need to understand that this was at 1 am. I'm always sleeping by then. She had no clue I was still up concocting my "eloquent sonnets" for her.
Edit: I added the blind toddler part in my message trying to be funny. Thought it might make her laugh.
Edit 2: Spelling
Update: Spoke to her on the phone for a while. Apparently her father had a good sense of humor because her mother informed he wouldn't stop laughing about it. Girlfriend is grieving, and she did get to say good-bye (thank every deity out there.) The funeral is next week, and I'm going. I need to pay my respects.
Update 2: For everyone telling me I shouldn't have written what I did, yes I've realized that and that's why I'm posting in a sub called "Today I FUCKED Up."
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