Since you deleted your post before I could hit enter to submit it, below is what I wrote you. I sincerely wish you luck.
Well, this is probably going to get me downvoted to hell, but to hell with it. 3 times a week watching porn isn't an addiction. When he watches it at work, gets fired for it, at home, instead of cooking, in the shower, and to the point where he risks your financial future, his marriage, AND his health, then it's an addiction. Speaking as someone who actually knew someone addicted to porn.
Side note, I am a female with female opinions here. His lying to you is fucked. He should never had lied. It's also fucked that he feels so ashamed about it that he feels the need to lie to you. He is obviously fearful, with good reason, of your reaction. Do you consider masturbating cheating? If it extends to that I think you both should get into counseling, preferably with someone who is sex positive, both separately and together. It's not healthy to deny someone a little self release now and again. And it really isn't healthy to have your self worth so adamantly tied into this black and white notion of cheating where the only sexual gratification your partner can get has to be directly linked to you every time and in every way.
I'm saying this, honestly, with completely warm intentions towards you. I'm not blasting you or anything like that. I get the impression that you are more bothered by the porn than the lying and that's worrisome. I think instead of focusing on the fact that he watched porn, you should instead focus on why he feels the need to hide it from you and the lying and what that says about the dynamic of your relationship. Counseling will help you go a long ways. As someone who has had it myself, I can’t stress this enough. Invest some time into yourself to help you sort through these feelings and dig deeper into them.
submitted by burnerbabyburn to TwoXChromosomes
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