Reposting for the weekend. Retyped rather, I'm using a mobile device that brilliantly lacks copying and pasting.
Few things first. Had my four front upper teeth removed a little over a week ago. It was supposed to be just the two middle but my dentist figured what the hell. So I was forbidden solid foods for a week and it's still about a week until my stitches get removed.
Second, I have a very strong sex drive. More to the point, when I'm horny I also tend to be very forgetful.
So a couple of days before my surgery I'd put a box of cordial cherries in my fridge, from my freezer, to thaw out some. Forgot about them until a couple of days ago. I pull them out to sit and soften for awhile, thinking I could just suck on them later.
I frequent Yuriba MUSH and was enjoying some textual interaction that started to get hot and heavy. I get horny, masturbation follows. If anything trumps my hormones though, it's hunger. I wind up signing out to go put dinner in the oven.
I'm still horny though, so I start reading some erotica relevant to my interests. Without giving it much (i.e. 'any') thought I open the cordials and this is where I fucked up.
We all know about phantom limbs. I have phantom teeth.
Rather than drawing it back into my mouth to suck on, I did what I'd done to every cordial cherry I consumed prior to that moment. I bit down on it. With teeth I no longer had.
The chocolate crumbled, the cherry popped, and a stitch ripped.
I spent several hours in pain while sucking on a gauze pad for comfort and to stop the bleeding. Now the torn ends are bugging me and it's still a few days until removal.
TL;DR: I masturbated and, getting carried away, popped my cherry. Pain and bleeding ensued. Also, this is misleading despite being totally accurate.
submitted by desireewhitehall to tifu
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