We are staying with my mom for Easter. When I got up this morning everyone was still asleep, so I was on my own for breakfast. I rummaged through mom's fridge and found some left over meatloaf in a zip lock bag, some garlic mashed taters in a plastic tub and a metal bowl of peas. I dumped everything into the taters and mixed it up and nuked it. Then I dumped the concoction into the metal bowl and added some Sriracha. Not your typical breakfast, but I thought it was good.
A while later my parents came downstairs. I was still sitting at the kitchen table reading the paper with the empty bowl next to me. My step dad picked up the bowl. "Why is the dog's bowl on the table?"
"That's not the dog's bowl," I said. "It was in the fridge, full of peas."
My step dad said, "Yeah, that is the dog's bowl." Then mom explained that she gave their pit bull a hearty serving of left over beef stew last night, to make room in the fridge for the stuff she was making for Easter dinner. After he finished eating she noticed that he hadn't eaten the peas. "There was just a layer of clean peas at the bottom of the bowl," mom explained, laughing. She'd found it amusing and put the bowl on the counter to show my step dad, but she'd forgotten about it and then my sister came through cleaning up the kitchen and put the bowl in the fridge.
So I might as well have french kissed a dog.
submitted by BackwardsEars to tifu
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