This wasn't today but I'm still living the consequences.
A few days ago, my girlfriend came over to my house and things got heated, as they do.
I decided to go down on her, which I love to do and will put 110% effort into because I enjoy it. Funnily enough, she was enjoying it too and we were in a position in which she was sat on my face, facing me whilst i licked her out and she rocked back and forth.
What neither of us realised was that, because she'd shaved a couple of days ago, she had a mass of sharp stubble that was protruding from her pubic mound. And every time she rocked forward and backward whilst applying a lot of pressure on me, this was brushing against my face.
Now I'm not gonna say it didn't hurt in the moment, because it did, but when you're caught up in sexytimes there's little you want to worry about except getting your partner off so I kept going and this went on for maybe 10 or 15 minutes. I just ignored the pain because I was keen to let her enjoy herself and knew. I could deal with it.
When I finally took my tongue out of the ham cabinet, what became very apparent was the burning pain all over my lower face. We turned the lights on and the bottom portion of my face, from my nose down, was as red as a tomato, like it had been painted with the blood of my enemies.
Suddenly, clarity of the situation came flooding in, in the activities partaken in, I had given myself a severe friction burn that was both ridiculously painful, and inexplainable to anyone with a reasonable explanation! I mean how the fuck do you explain that? I felt like not leaving the house until it had healed but I still had my parents to make an excuse to, and college and other commitments.
It was funny for her, and she was laughing hysterically with intermittent sympathy, but I was legitimately worried about how I was going to explain this without utter embarrassment. In the end I did the only thing I know, the rightful British thing to do... I told everyone that I had spilled hot tea on my face, my parents wanted to take me to a doctor just to check it out and make sure it wasn't going to scar but I wouldn't let them otherwise they'd realise it was a friction burn and not a liquid based splashy burn.
This is 3 days later and it's worse now, skin slightly peeling and redness is just as bad as it was. Hopefully it goes away within a week, that seems to be the general consensus regarding first degree burns from my research. Luckily no one has questioned my excuse.
TL;DR: Carpet munch, carpet burn, God save the Queen.
submitted by Berlchicken to tifu
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