Went to take a poop. Everything was fine except it took some extra effort to get it out. Went to wipe and noticed a decent amount of blood and no poop on the toilet paper. Freaked me out because I've heard this can be caused by prostate cancer. Looked down at the poop in the toilet, no blood in it. Really confused me. Only thing I could think of was to set my phone on the bathroom sink propped up so I could take a video of my own ass hole. Took the video, did not see any blood anywhere.
Later on in the day I had accidentally left my phone sitting on a counter at work that is sort of a public gathering place. When I leave my phone unattended it's set to go to the lock screen 20 seconds after no activity. A co-worker of mine must have grabbed it right away and started looking through my phone. Of course he goes to the picture section first which is also where the videos are located. Starts playing the first video which is me showing my own ass hole to my own camera. From my desk area I hear a mixture of hyena laughter and horrified groans.
By the time I reached the public gathering space I saw my boss and three of my co-workers watching a video on a phone. Instinctly I reached for my phone to make sure I had it and sure enough I didn't. My heart sank. The co-worker who went through my phone looks at me and says "HA HA HA DUDE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" and my boss looks at him sort of confused. Once my boss had realized what he was watching and that the phone did not belong to who was holding it he immediately called us both into his office.
He fired my co-worker on the spot; right in front of me. Told him to pack his things and that he would be escorted out. When my co-worker left the room my boss looked at me and apologized for the invasion of privacy. I could tell he was trying to hold back all of his laughter, questions, etc. He told me to go on about my day as if nothing happened and that if the other two co-workers mentioned it, he would put an end to it. I'm assuming he wanted to get this over with quickly so that I wouldn't end up suing the company somehow for emotional damages or whatever. I actually explained to him what happened and he said something along the lines of "Well that's more information than I wanted to know but that makes more sense than actually wanting to look at your own ass". We both kind of awkwardly laughed and went back to business.
Now I'm wondering if that co-worker is going to post a "TIFU by looking through my co-workers phone".
TL;DR My co-workers think I'm aroused by my own ass hole
edit for clarity: I know I fucked up in multiple ways. Leaving my phone unattended, not deleting the video earlier, etc. I didn't even ask for the guy to get fired it just happened right away.
submitted by MikeBeaconPlumber to tifu
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from reddit: the front page of the internet http://ift.tt/1aSMUyE
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